what has csi done to me?

"I don’t think that people accept the fact that life doesn’t make sense. I think it makes people terribly uncomfortable."




I live a pretty clean life. I don't smoke pot, I don't shank people, I don't go and rape and pillage villages for jewels in my spare time between German and Comparative Literature. I'm clean, but sometimes my mind wanders. Blame it on CSI, Criminal Minds, Bones...the entire smorgasbord, because I'm sure it all had something to do with it.

I'd be the worst criminal ever, realistically, as I am now, but you know, I always try to formulate the perfect crime in my head when my mind wanders. Well, always is not the right word, but my mind does sometimes venture to it and before I know it I'm looking around at shoe treads thinking "well you better not commit any crimes involving blood because YOU WOULD SO GET BUSTED FOOL. What you SHOULD WEAR is blah blah blah." I have a pair of moccasins that have no treads on the bottom (which fyi is not good for a place that rains a lot, because brick sidewalk when wet is not fun to walk on), and I often think "would they be able to track my footsteps? what if I sanded down the bottom after the crime so it'd be a different shoe?"

There is also solvents that dissolve blood that can just be used to cover your tracks, but that is obvious. There are gloves to hide handprints. And there is general know-how that can help people just...not get caught. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy that people get caught because crime is bad (mmkay), but it's just fun wondering if I ever were a criminal, could I get away with shit? Would the thrill be there? Probably. But in this lifetime I'd probably just fuck it all up with human emotions like guilt and sadness and, well, I'm not cutout to be a murderer at all.

however.

In another lifetime I was a viking. Definitely.