ho-hum, this is not my essay

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."



It always stressed me out when there are so many things you could be doing, but you can't be bothered to actually man up to do them. When there seems to be so much other stimulation, and you just can't focus on one particular thing. This seems to be then.

I have four word documents open, eight tabs open in firefox (only one actually relating to my essay), and two tabs for talking to people open on AIM. Given, my essay is getting closer and closer to being completed, and I even feel I'll be over the limit (then I will correct it), I still feel like in a way it is just to the point where you know you can finish it but you just don't have the drive to do so.

Of course, that isn't the only thing on my mind. I feel like I'm watching a friendship break with every word I type to some people that I haven't seen in forever. This will not be an emo post, I promise, I just think that it is a strange sensation that when you are talking to someone over chat you can sometimes feel the strain of the relationship, sometimes know that they aren't connected to you, and you realize that the annoying feeling you get when they don't ask you about your day when you ask about theirs, or when you speak to them it is only negative and when you try to inject positive it is for naught, it carries on past the conversation and eats at you afterwards.

I have to wonder...

Is it bad to know that you are watching a friendship die but don't know how to revitalize it?

Hm.

I'm going home on Tuesday, and I couldn't be happier to see my mom, my dog, and to sleep in my own bed, assuming no cousin of mine has used it for sex in between my visits. Regardless, I will wash the sheets and blankets and sleep sound.

I'm really looking for a Christmas dress! I really REALLY want to go holiday shopping. I've been buying things for my friends, but I really really reaaaalllyyyy want some "me" shopping. I want a pretty holiday dress, and some cute flat mid-calf ankle boots. I have been going through ebay and shopstyle to NO AVAAAAAIL. I just want to be pretty this holiday season because if I feel pretty maybe I'll actually have more confidence and generally be a better person. Let's all hope.

Speaking of holidays! I have so many cards to address and send off, and my secret santa for thefashionspot...oh man, so much to think about, so little time.

Anyway...

Henry the IV Part I is calling to me to talk to me about Jack Falstaff. I must leave. Until next time, whomever is reading this. Until next time.