1. I have an entirely irrational fear that every time I kill/maim/smite a spider, it dies and the spirit tells it's psycho creepy spider brethren that I have done it harm and that they are collectively creating a spider army that is solely for my destruction. The worst part? I wish I was kidding.
2. I hold intense grudges but I don't get angry, like truly pissed off, often. In fact, I don't remember the last time I yelled at someone. I'm more of a...let it boil and froth around until I explode kind of person, probably.
3. When I was a child there were three jobs that really captured my heart. One: a florist, because I loved flowers. Two: a sheep herder, because they are just so gosh darn adorable. Three: a female James Bond, because I am that fucking badass. That, and I secretly want to run around in either a suit: or a femme fetale dress: kicking ass, and having a huge excuse to just feel so cool. And maybe get to live out my strange James Bond fetish/fantasy. Who knows.
4. I have a teeny tiny secret desire to be one day asked to be a model by a legit agency. Whether or not I'd take it is completely unknown, but for my ego it'd be amazing and it'd make me feel like I had one-upped a girl in high school who thought I'd be prettier if I wore tons of makeup.
5. I spend a lot of time in the shower thinking about the homework I didn't do and how I should have done it.
6. I kind of regret the person I was in high school due to the massive cases of mistaken and every changing identity I had due to my inability to be comfortable in my own skin.
7. I still love the Washington Redskins, despite how embarrassing they are, and yes, when you talk shit about them I will get angry. Usually, if I ignore you after said comment or something similar, there is a reason.
8. I played WoW. I miss it.
9. I'm addicted to flash games but am often too nervous to play first person shooter games because I know I'll get addicted and frustrated and cuss way too much for someone who is trying to at least have a little class. lol.
Peace. I'm going to go to the mini-gym here in Ducks.
get off eBay. read shakespeare. get off eBay. you don't need more clothes. get off eBay. do your homework. get off eBay. get off eBay. get off eBay. get off eBay. get off eBay. get off eBay. get off eBay.
One of my brothers is coming from Maryland. I'll miss the other, but it's understandable that he won't be able to make it. Regardless, I'll miss his trash talking..even though Pat can cover that base well enough on his own.
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
It always stressed me out when there are so many things you could be doing, but you can't be bothered to actually man up to do them. When there seems to be so much other stimulation, and you just can't focus on one particular thing. This seems to be then.
I have four word documents open, eight tabs open in firefox (only one actually relating to my essay), and two tabs for talking to people open on AIM. Given, my essay is getting closer and closer to being completed, and I even feel I'll be over the limit (then I will correct it), I still feel like in a way it is just to the point where you know you can finish it but you just don't have the drive to do so.
Of course, that isn't the only thing on my mind. I feel like I'm watching a friendship break with every word I type to some people that I haven't seen in forever. This will not be an emo post, I promise, I just think that it is a strange sensation that when you are talking to someone over chat you can sometimes feel the strain of the relationship, sometimes know that they aren't connected to you, and you realize that the annoying feeling you get when they don't ask you about your day when you ask about theirs, or when you speak to them it is only negative and when you try to inject positive it is for naught, it carries on past the conversation and eats at you afterwards.
I have to wonder...
Is it bad to know that you are watching a friendship die but don't know how to revitalize it?
Hm.
I'm going home on Tuesday, and I couldn't be happier to see my mom, my dog, and to sleep in my own bed, assuming no cousin of mine has used it for sex in between my visits. Regardless, I will wash the sheets and blankets and sleep sound.
I'm really looking for a Christmas dress! I really REALLY want to go holiday shopping. I've been buying things for my friends, but I really really reaaaalllyyyy want some "me" shopping. I want a pretty holiday dress, and some cute flat mid-calf ankle boots. I have been going through ebay and shopstyle to NO AVAAAAAIL. I just want to be pretty this holiday season because if I feel pretty maybe I'll actually have more confidence and generally be a better person. Let's all hope.
Speaking of holidays! I have so many cards to address and send off, and my secret santa for thefashionspot...oh man, so much to think about, so little time.
Anyway...
Henry the IV Part I is calling to me to talk to me about Jack Falstaff. I must leave. Until next time, whomever is reading this. Until next time.
My name is Shannon, and I've heard that I can sometimes be cool. I regularly win tug-of-wars with minotaurs, I am also well regarded as a Pegasus horseback rider, I have suffered shipwrecks against the dark ocean, I will live where wild flowers grow and the stone gardens bloom and I'll wait until the night to tell you a thousand stories I've made up.
Destiny is usually just around the corner. Like a thief, a hooker, or a lottery vendor: its three most common personifications. But what destiny does not do is home visits. You have to go for it.
